Walk.

So yet again, I find myself in South Sudan. I am truly so happy to be here once more, and to be able to witness this historic period in this country’s history. I am here to work with the Episcopal Church of Sudan and help church health clinics around the county implement pharmacies. This week I will be traveling from the capital to remote locations in the west of the country. So I am here in Yambio, the capital of Western Equatorian State. I have been asking myself what lessons I am learning from these travels, what God wants to say to me. I feel like I keep searching and listening to hear God’s voice. So here is what he has said so far.

Keep listening. ☺ You know that verse that says be still and know that I am god? Everyone always says, I should be still more, and listen to God more, and find out what he is trying to say to me. Then, inevitably, people keep living their lives, which never include any sort of stillness. By no great virtue of my own, I have had TIME to be still. The church sent me to “the bush” “the field” “the random-village-that-you-have-in-your-mind-when-you-think-of-africa”…what does that mean? It means I was stuck in a mud hut by myself with four hours of generator power a day, and no internet or television save a season of West Wing someone had brought out. My generation does NOT know how to handle life without the Internet. I had four days of isolation, and I was dying…I was like WHAT do I DO with the HOURS of time I have at night?! I didn’t learn anything profound in four days without Internet or friends, but it is in some ways it was very good to go without things for a time. It wasn’t like I sat and meditated for hours, but I did think many times, what shall I learn from this, and what shall God teach me today. I think it was my thought process that made the difference. It was that I was walking with him. Not perfectly, but I was listening. I was open… for a time…I should do more of that ☺

Second thing, my father keeps sending me Micah 6:8, which basically says “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.” This is a good reminder and it ties into what I was saying above. Walk. You know, I had to pray for the past couple months to desire to walk with God. I think often we don’t want to walk with him, because if we really are in close communion, then we are accountable to our actions. If we walk closely with God, our sin will be apparent. I want to hide it. So I think it took lots of prayer for God to change my desires to want to walk with him. So now, it is a matter of doing it. It is a matter of walking humbly, and asking for repentance, and asking god to continue to change my desires so that I really do love mercy. It is a matter of “coming” to the Lord, lying before him and before his cross, each day, each hour.

May He continue to teach us to walk with him, walk in him, and work through him. Blessings.